Over the Christmas break in New York, I did one of my favorite things in the whole world: I watched a lot of TV in my pajamas without moving for 24 hours. Even though I love Europe, I crave American pop culture whenever I’m back in the US.

So I spent a lot of time watching MTV, VH1, Bravo and a few other cable stations. With the remote in my hand, I came to appreciate just how much reality TV dominates US air waves, and with good reason: You can’t make this stuff up! Following in reverse order is a list of my top 5 US reality shows. If you can buy them on iTunes or find them on emule, I highly recommend that you do so. A lot of them are now available via streaming directly from the various channels’ websites, so you can get them for free if you are willing to deal with a few commercial breaks.

5. The Real Housewives of Orange County: When I lived in the US, Bravo was the high-brow arts and entertainment channel focused on wealthy people who love the arts. But after the success of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” (five gay guys help a clueless straight guy become “fabulous!“), it’s still focused on wealthy people, but with a generous bit of reality trash thrown in. Hence, “The Real Housewives of Orange County”. Orange County is one of the richest neighborhoods in the US state of California, so the show focuses on pretty silly rich woman looking for love and/or more money. It’s quite literally meant to be the reality TV version of Desperate Housewives, but after three seasons, the formula is getting a little bit tired. Reality TV begins to suck when it’s clear that the participants are exaggerating their reactions or, even worse, acting. I like seeing crazy people being crazy. Fake celebrities acting crazy to maintain their fake celebrity is not quite as interesting.

4. Project Runway: A simple formula now in its 4th season. A beautiful and appealing hostess who doesn’t get in the way (Heidi Klum). Successful designers as judges, including Donna Karan, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia (Elle magazine fashion director). And 15 young designers representing various demographics. The three finalists get to present their work on the runway at New York Fashion Week before real celebrities and the international fashion scene. The winner also gets an editorial spread in ELLE and $100.000 to start his/her own fashion line. So it’s a real competition with a meaningful prize for people whose main goal in life is larger than being a reality TV star. That realness is what makes the competition intense. And the fact that fashionistas tend to be bitchy and catty also help to keep the real-life drama factor way up! (Full episodes are available on Bravo’s website. Below is just an excerpt that I found on YouTube.)

3. Made: It’s MTV’s way of convincing teenagers that dreams really do come true if they work hard enough. The show tends to focus on issues important to teenagers but ripe with comedic possibilities — for example, the fat girl who wants to be prom queen, the Jewish nerdy kid who wants to rap like Jay Z, the cheerleader whose secret dream is to be like the skater kids, etc. Each kid who wants to get “made” reflects a high school prototype and is assigned a “trainer” who represents exactly what the teenager wants to become - a mentor/role model to show that the goal is possible. And the entire episode shows how no one believes that the kid can do it, how the kid also doubts herself, how the trainer kicks her ass, how she starts to falter before eventually fulfilling her goal through hard work and determination. It’s a great piece of propaganda to inspire kids to work hard and keep believing in themselves. And it’s funny along the way watching the nerds, cheerleaders and fat kids make fools of themselves in their attempts to fulfill their dreams. (MTV streams the full episodes from their website.)

2. A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila: No one in the offline world had any freaking clue who this girl was before this show. My sister had watched every episode and had read about Tila’s private life, but she had no clue why or how Tila was a “celebrity” with her own show, or why MTV had chosen to make her the host of their New Year’s Eve special. After a little bit of research on Wikipedia, I discovered that Tila is a former nude model whose claim to fame is that she has 2 million friends on MySpace. That’s it, folks. That bit of notoriety got her a recording contract and a television show on MTV. Now everyone knows her name. Fame. And the show itself added fuel to her whole Vietnamese Internet sex kitten image (the mix of subservience and sex goddess included) when Tila announced during the first episode that she was bisexual. So the twist on the traditional reality dating show format is that 16 boys and 16 girls had to convince her: i) which gender she preferred; and ii) of that gender, why he/she was the best candidate. She French-kissed and made out with pretty much each of the guys and girls, all the while claiming that she was really looking for love. She gave one finalist’s grandmother a lap dance, and then did a pole dance before the two finalists’ parents. She did this all without seeming like a slut, just like a nice girl looking to have “innocent” fun. The Vietnamese bisexual Britney Spears. Riveting TV indeed. (Full episodes are available on MTV online.)

1. I Love New York: For the record, it’s almost embarrassing to admit that I love this show. It is the most popular reality TV show in the US. The original idea was that Flavor Flav, one of the ugliest guys ever created and a former rapper with Public Enemy who was borderline homeless before the show began, would give a group of “lucky” women the chance to fight over him and possibly become his bride. The show was a runaway hit, as the girls were straight-up ghetto. These women were definitely not ladies, and their ghetto trashiness made help make the show a huge hit. Tila Tequila’s show is almost a direct copy of Flavor of Love, except with a bisexual sex-kitten twist. New York is the star of this spin-off, and she is hilarious. She is always smoking her Newports (cigarettes arguably found only in the inner cities of New York), has big fake breasts and is absolutely crazy. But she’s entertaining. There’s absolutely no way to get bored when watching I Love New York. It’s obviously somewhat staged (did anyone really think New York would end up with a “small person” who didn’t even reach her left breast?), but there’s enough real craziness there to make it worth it.